You know how Chiarello said that he used to eat three Dales a day for breakfast? Let’s just say he is the size of three Dales and he’s in the attic scene in The War of the Roses in my head right now. Also, one more analogy: His penis is Evander Holyfield’s ear and I’m Mike Tyson.
As you can see, I’ve been mad at IsaTinkerBella since season 6 of Top Chef when Mattin went home because IsaTinkerBella stole his immunity in the cactus quickfire. The worst part is he had a worse dish but had immunity, so he was ineligible for elimination, so Mattin went home for a bland ceviche which wouldn’t have happened if that asshole didn’t win and MATTIN DID!